Kids are not naturally self-motivated, so it can be difficult to motivate your child. We have to help them shape how they will motivate themselves now and in the future. A big part of anyone with self-motivation is their mindset as they prepare to do any activity. When your child’s mindset is not in the right place, even the most fun activities can be a struggle.
Motivation is a combination of interest, goals and routine
Have your child pick activities that interest them and then set goals for that activity. This will help to create a habit and when we set habits for our children it makes motivation that much easier. Re-assessing and re-asserting goals will help to keep the activity fresh. With that, here are some strategies to help you motivate your child when they do not want to come to class.
1. Be attentive to what your child is doing in the moment he/she is supposed to get ready for class. If he/she is playing or having fun with their current activity they will not want to stop to get ready to leave. You can do a couple of things when this occurs, give them a 15 – 20 minute warning that their current activity will end no matter the circumstances. Or you can be more subtle and have your child participate in a chore or task that’s not as much fun around 10 to 15-minutes prior to getting ready for class.
2. Be aware of your own emotions and how your words and actions appear as you get your child ready for class. Be calm; if you avoid being stressed, rushed, or aggravated, this makes it easier to motivate your child. So, relax and be sure to project positive and upbeat energy as you are getting your child ready for class. This will also help cause less stress for you.
3. Focus on how you respond to your child’s overall performance after class. Praise them for what they did well and point out when it looked like they were having fun. This will help when you are trying to motivate your child to get ready for class the next time. You can remind them of the fun they had.
If they struggled with a specific task during class be positive and encourage them to overcome that hurdle and point out other times they struggled and are doing well now. Set some short term goals to help motivate your child. Stances are an easy one to praise and point out improvement. Remind them they don’t have to be perfect, nor do they have be right all the time.
4. Be intentional with your goals by communicating with your child’s instructors. The goal is to foster motivation in your child. Let the instructor know about your struggles so that they can be mindful to help your child before, during, and after class. You are not alone, so don’t be afraid to ask for support!
5. Prompt motivation by rewarding your child. Remember that children’s brains are still growing, and most of their development comes from experiences and positive stimulation. Pre-frame the proper behavior that you would like to see when going to class, and then set an attainable number of classes he/ she must attend with this behavior, along with a reward for doing so. For example: attend the next 3 classes with the proper behavior and we will grab ice cream on the way home.
Set Expectations to Help with Motivating Your Child
I strongly suggest avoiding rewards after every class, this is hard to maintain and sets children up for failure later on. I have found that when you set specific expectations kids are more than happy to rise to those expectations. Especially when they receive praise and support. Positive reinforcement is a big part of this progression through any challenge that your child may have.
These tips are not the only methods but are often overlooked. As parents, we get caught-up in the daily grind, so we sometimes forget that situations like this require attentive and intentional parenting. We sometimes have to motivate ourselves before we can help to motivate our children.
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Another good source for creating new habits: How to Stop Procrastinating by Using the “2-Minute Rule”
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